I Saw Lance Bass at the Women’s March and Didn’t Know WTF to Do with Myself

This chronicles only a sliver of my experience at the Women’s March Los Angeles. If I were you, I would read my first post all about the Women’s March of Los Angeles before reading the below so I don’t come off as a complete and totally superficial idiot in your eyes.

After the march, Ben and I were trying to get to Clifton’s, one of our favorite spots in Los Angeles because it’s a glorious trifecta: 1. It has an actual cafeteria with decent food, 2. It has vast space spanning three floors, and 3. We could really use a drink. We randomly strolled over to 6th and Broadway, a block away from Clifton’s, where we saw a small crowd form behind a medium-sized, shrouded stage.

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Celebrity, Literature, TV

Mindy Kaling, be my best friend, please.

I finished Mindy Kaling’s Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) this past weekend (thanks to a really close friend who gifted it to me during Christmas break).

Not to give anything away, in case you want to read it (and you should!), but if you’re a fan of The Office, or love Amy Poehler, or want to know where Greg Daniels’ favorite diner is, or what the hell an “Irish exit” is, or have a single funny-bone in your body, you should read it. Just sayin’.

I also found out today that Mindy was greenlit for her own pilot. Can’t wait to see it!

Celebrity, TV

SNL’s Live Action Amiguously Gay Duo

There is just so much to love.

1. SNL finally brought back TV Funhouse & The Ambiguously Gay Duo.

2. I had no idea Stephen Colbert & Steve Carell were the voices for Ace and Gary.

3. Jon Hamm AND Jimmy Fallon as live Ace and Gary with Colbert in the flesh? Dreams do come true. Watch!

Celebrity, TV

Wanted: Potential MTV Real World Castmembers:

Preferred Qualifications:

Come from a small town, but have a “BIG” personality. We emphasize BIG because it’s ambiguous enough that it’s interchangeable with “slutty.”

Have parents who are either addicted/have been addicted to coke, alcohol or meth. It’s a plus if they’re still coked up and you have to support your 15 brothers and sisters while somehow finding a way to put yourself through college. We want intelligent people on this show, folks. Continue reading

Celebrity, Politics

Dear Charlie Sheen:

I’m sick and tired of seeing your face. I’m fed up with your smoky-ass swarming all over every single media outlet, including the radio, blogs, newspapers and even freaking CNN (who even did a package on how much you smoke!) Who gives a DAMN?!?

You are taking precious words, footage and airtime from issues that ACTUALLY matter. Like, I dunno, how the U.S. may or may not take action in Libya, how all of the protest and terrible atrocities happening on that continent is fucking up oil prices and how some idiots in America think that boycotting gas stations because of the hiked up prices is a brilliant idea. Your dumb outbursts are making everyone more stupid.

You are not a “winner,” yet you are a millionaire.

And for that, you can be my new best friend.

– Mel

Celebrity, Politics

Friday Funday

This is not Friday Funday appropriate. But I liked this pic.

Sorry I didn’t post this week. It’s been sort of a whirlwind in the life of Mel, and things won’t wind down until Wednesday or so.

But anyways. I’ll blog really quick, just so I can get some creative juices flowing before I read up on the legendary David Foster Wallace.

Current thoughts on this fine, fine Friday:

+ I’m in complete awe over the uprising countries that are giving their governments the middle finger. Like fire, the revolutionary outcries and protest have spread from Africa to the Middle East. It’s aspiring yet incredibly frightening. I hope to God that all can be resolved without more bloodshed, but wishful thinking hasn’t given anyone peace.

+ In a related note, I feel bad that in a few hours I’ll be en route to Vegas for the weekend while thousands of people are losing their lives in the world. Lady luck should be overseas right now with the protesters and not with dollar slot machines.

+ What’s a post without mentioning J. Biebs? I heard he cut his hair and then sold it for charity. Okay, Biebs: I let you go to the BET Awards, I also allowed you to premiere a low-budget, high-profit movie that’s in direct competition with Topher Grace’s “Take Me Home Tonight.” And that is my second husband right there. But allowing little girls to man-handle little strands of your hair? Ew. Just ew.

And little girls: Why the fuck would you buy a strand of hair for $7,000? That’s pretty sick, you sick SOBs.

+ I like turtles.

Have a good weekend, bitches!

Celebrity, Movies

Viernes es mi salvador.

Oh Henry! (had to.)

Thanks Google Translate, you’re the best.

It’s sad knowing I spent about $4,000 at UT for Spanish credits, and I can’t even remember how to say Friday.

Anyways, Happy Friday mi amigos!

I’m in a SUPER good mood because I just saw a pic of the new Superman, Henry Cavill (The Tudors, Stardust). OF course he’s UBER attractive. And I don’t expect anything less than the best for the Man In Tights. I mean, Tom Welling AND Brandon Routh were both Mr. Kent, and they’re fine pieces of … well, man. And since they are so good-looking, it’s alright that they can’t act worth a dime. But I have faith in Henry. He was actually supposed to play Edward Cullen, dontchaknow. I’m relieved he chose the right franchise… Jeebus.

Here’s what my plans are this weekend:

+ Spend about and hour or two hours on this website. Pure genius.

+ Dig my toes in Santa Monica sand and ride some rides on the pier. Or throw Cheetos at Seagulls. I hear that’s a smart idea.

+ Give a toast Sunday night to Richard Nixon in honor of President’s Day on Monday. If it wasn’t for you Mister Nixon, Deep Throat would just be a porno.

+ Eat some Ciroc-ified cupcakes. Yes, I did turn Ciroc into a verb. Ya jealous? Anyways, my roommate wants to try out some cupcake recipe with Ciroc in it. Do Diddy proud.

+ Watch a movie. ANY movie. I wish that new Topher Grace movie was out already. I’m sure it’s terrible, but who cares? Anything is better than freakin Gnomeo and Juliette. I’ll pay $10 to see Topher galavant across the screen any day. Plus Anna Faris is in it, who is pretty annoying. But I did see her last week, so we’re sort of like closet BFFs.

And that’s all I can think of. Hopefully your weekend is just as awesome.

Celebrity, Movies, TV

Comedy Central’s 1st ever Comedy Awards

The old logo is SO much better than that shitty backwards C.

Trailing Deadline.com’s breaking news… It’s about time they put this into works!

Comedy Central and MTV are launching the first-ever Comedy Awards, which I assume is a big F-U to “high-brow” award shows like the Emmys and the Golden Globes that don’t think the absurd lives of 5 assholes running a bar is deserving of recognition. (It’s Always Sunny deserves some kind of award, other than a place on my DVD shelf.)

The awards show spans both TV and film and has 15 different categories, including Comedy Series, Stand-Up Special and Comedy Directing.

What sucks about this, is everyone watching expects them to bring the funny. Everyone laughs at lame jokes during the Emmys, the Golden Globes, the Grammys and the Oscars because all people expect are yawns. Maybe this award show is just a ginormously huge prank?

Read the nominees here.

Celebrity, Politics, TV

Hiatus = DUNZO.


Not gonna lie – it’s been awhile.


Blame UT’s Advanced Feature Writing, Video for the Web and Magazine Management classes and Texas Monthly, which swallowed my life last semester… And also my distilled laziness.

Anyways, I’m back and in action and in the City of Angels, ya dig?

[I never say ya dig, but I thought I’d try it on.]

Here are some thoughts:

1. Revolution in Egypt. I just wanted to say… “You say you’ll change the constitution… Well, you know.  We all want to change your head… You tell me it’s the institution… Well, you know… You better free you mind instead.”  So yeah, there’s my two cents folks.

2. I’m so into fat shows right now. Well at least MTV’s “health conscious” reality show, “I Used to Be Fat,” where newly high school graduates vow to lose about a thousand pounds before they start their first day of college. Or something like that. Nazi trainers just do it for me, I guess.

3. Jesse Eisenberg is McHotsenberg. I’m not sure why I suddenly find him attractive. Maybe it’s his jumbled, intellectual jargon that makes my heart skip a small beat,  but I decided to rename him.

4. The Bachelor is the funniest sitcom on the network right now. You guys may argue me on this, but I’m totally sold. Girls crying over a guy they may have spoken to twice because they “were just falling so in love with him”? A “group date” consisting of making $5 budget commercials for the Red Cross Blood Drive? And a bachelor who seems slightly retarded? C’mon this is irony at its best. Can’t stop watching.

5. Schadenfreude makes me feel better, especially on Valentine’s Day. I’m not bitter about my past relationships. If anything, they’ve taught me a handful about myself and what I don’t want in a guy. But it does make me feel awesome to know that people had it worse off than I did during those drunk-crying episodes. Pffff don’t judge me, you know you feel the same way! Check out these break-up stories, (via Gawker) and feel better too!

I also have another blog – melzey.tumblr.com that chronicles most of my Cali travels thus far. Check it out, bitches.

Celebrity, Music

I am a big, fat liar…

… And I actually just watched the Frankie Muniz movie last week as well, so what a coinky-dink.

But seriously, I suck.

I haven’t had time to post in the past month, and kind of got wrapped up in my own shit, that I forgot about what I actually care about.

Here’s an update on my life since I’ve posted last:

1. I now have a fake tooth. Please, please contain your excitement, it’s not even that cool. Okay, it’s pretty cool, but not high-five worthy. Apparently my sweet tooth had too much decay, so they had to saw it down and create a new one out of porcelain. The punchline: I was half-asleep when they did it and woke up mid-way, long enough to feel my tooth half gone. Dazed and confused, I had a mild freak-out and gently fell back asleep. I guess I learned my lesson. Oh yeah, and I also had to get 9 fillings in 4-hours. My poor dentaduras.

2. I got an internship with Texas Monthly. Mel, you sly, sly dog. After interviewing with them two years ago and being shunned for an editorial position, they invited me back to interview for a Digital Department internship. As in web stuff. As in stuff I wants to do. Take that, non-believers!

3. I’m a huge fan of Veronica Mars. Not only is VM underrated, it pulled an Arrested Development and was canceled after the 3rd season. Still, the show follows Veronica on her quest to find the killer of her BFF. It’s a crazy, 21-epi whodunnit. And probably one of the wittiest show I’ve ever caught on Netflix.

4. Sia is still amazing. Twenty-three years since the start of career, and SIA has still got it. Her most recent tunes that’ve been stuck in my head include “Clap Your Hands” and “Bring Night,” from her recent album, We Are Born. The bubbly, electro-gum drop beats makeup for the inaudible lyrics. But believe me, it’s  terribly addicting.

5. I am now officially a senior. And i’m inching closer and closer to the real world. If only the real world was more like The Real World. I too would be famous for about 3 seconds, and after inflating/flaunting my personal issues on the tele, I can tour b-rated clubs, scrounging around for an actual career. Le sigh.