Pretty Wild = pretty effed up.

By starcelebritys.com

After watching the first episode of Pretty Wild, the new reality-wannabe-celeb drama show on E! that follows a former playboy model and three wild-child daughters, I really wish integrity came in pill form, just so I could slip some into these girls’ drinks.

There’s something about these chicks that just make me want to scream. And I’m talking about the four of them, mom included:

1. First of all, what justifies Andrea Neiers to teach/home school these girls? Her only textbook is “The Secret,” which literally seems to be her bible too. No wonder these girls are so messed up…

2. Tess Taylor looks like Kelly Clarkson. And her smokey, I don’t-give-a-fuck attitude just makes me laugh, cause, well, I just see Kelly Clarkson.

3. I guess E! got lucky with the goldmine that is Alexis Neiers. I mean, the 18-year-old just so happened to be caught in a celeb robbery ring (the bling ring) the first week of filming? Why do I feel like something in there was staged.

4. Seeing Alexis and Tess pole dance to vie for the coveted spot to be the leading girl in Mickey Avalon’s stripper/rock video was disturbing. And for Mickey Avalon? Gross. I thought the girls wanted a real career.

5.  What is up with the whole “And so it is” ohm-like prayer the family keeps on incorporating whenever one of them fucks up, and the Hindu-like statues everywhere in the house?  Who the hell do they think they are? They seem to have created some sort of buddhist/hinduism/christian hybrid that focuses on “positivity.” What the hell?

6. The whole Biatta campaign was a bit weird. I know Tess is like 19-years-old, but she looks like a baby prostitute in that lingerie.

7. Thank goodness 15-year-old Gabby Neiers is in that family. She seems to be the ONLY one with a head on their shoulders, or at least one with the most common sense. With a delusional mom, and two trashy sisters, I’m sure its gotta be hard. But she is still mildly dumb – evidence: the whole car ride scene to the jail. (Oh, wait, spoiler alert.)


5 thoughts on “Pretty Wild = pretty effed up.

  1. Rachel says:

    hahaha i just saw that show last night and you’re right on about all of them

    in one scene you see the mom’s g-string as she’s walking up the stairs… staged as well? you know i would catch that 😉

  2. Heather Hall says:

    Why does the mom always have what looks to be earphones in when in actuality they are clipped to her ear lobes and not inside her ears? What exactly is it that she is wearing? Anyone know?? BTW what a messed up show!!

    • PrettyWildFan says:

      Apparently the mom is into a whole host of idiotic holistic practices to help her combat the stress and depression she experiences in her life. One such practice is called “meridian tapping” where you tap on certain spots on the body (earlobes, pulse points on the wrists etc.) and the idea is that the self induced accupressure can cure what ails you. Hence she walks around the house with these things clipped to her earlobes. Wonder how that’s working out for her. And I find it interesting that she’s into holistic medicine and alternative/natural healing but she feeds her daughters pharmaceuticals in the form of Adderal and Ambien like they are Tic-Tacs. I think someone should intervene and remove Gabby from the home. She’s 15 and is being raised by a skank for a mom and two sluts for sisters. And she seems to have dark circles under her eyes and she looks starved and fatigued.

  3. Pingback: ‘Pretty Wild’ is CANCELED… «

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