Literature, Ruminations

Why Nancy Drew Can Trade Lives With Me Any Day.

Ugh, I just sneezed into my own hair. Gross.

Anyways, I hope I’m not getting sick. There’s usually one week every month when I feel less than par. And it’s not PMS, I promise.

Just because I have no other segway into this, I’m going to right out tell you that I sometimes wish I was Nancy Drew. Okay, most of the time.

As one of my childhood heroes, Ms. Drew has done it all. She’s saved heirlooms, caught missing persons, and manhandled “ghosts” with barely a scratch. I’d say she’s had a nearly perfect life.

Look at her entourage: a lawyer-father, a maid/nanny/surrogate grandmother who makes amazing cookies, two best buds who always have her back, a hot boyfriend who doesn’t let his manly mojo get in the way of the shere fact that Nancy is clearly smarter than he, and a cute-ass chocolate lab.

Also, she’s been solving crimes within 100 pages (since the age of ten).

The only thing this sleuth lacks is proper detective disguises. I’m pretty sure there’s a limit on how many times you can put a scarf on your head and call yourself a traveling secretary.

Luckily, during my late-night window shopping, as in online window shopping (funny how “window shopping” inadvertently has two meanings in one–a big sigh for our digital society), I stumbled upon this:

1. Someone buy this for me.

2. Penny Warner is a genius. As much as I commend her, I have an exact amount of contempt, because I’m jealous I didn’t think of this first.

3. Someone buy this for me.

Also, I came across this book:

. . . Which I also just deemed I need in my life.

I’d also like to put on the record that I want to own every single Nancy Drew mystery, and a Nancy Drew poster to boot.

And in case you think I’m a weird freak, here are my other heroes (some are also from childhood):

-Sherlock Holmes. I love you, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

-Encyclopedia Brown

-Veronica Mars

I guess you’re smart enough to sense that there’s a trend there. You’re a regular gumshoe.