. . . What a fail.

I try to fit in time and look where that got me. Nowhere fast (and I guess using throwaway cliches?).

Anyways, I tried (a dash) and didn’t deliver. But I really want to. Especially this year.

Look, I don’t ever set new years resolutions because of the mere disappoint that I inevitably receive after I break it subsequent day after or so (much like me giving up cursing for Lent–wasn’t realistic).

And in my best attempt at a southern-belle accent, “I do declare” that I will try even harder this year.

I especially want to focus on my writing during the upcoming months. I feel like I’ve been in a stalemate with myself for such a long time and my writing has suffered severely for it. I’m not reading enough books and I’m not absorbing enough articles (my time drains oh so quickly) and it shows. Especially in my word choices.

Words I’m trying to phase out of my vocabulary and my writing (to be replaced with words I find in one of my all-time favorite books–the thesaurus):

1. Sucks: Okay, this is mostly from my vocabulary. Every time I say “sucks,” an intellect dies. Or I wither inside. Or both, simultaneously.

2. Just: It was “just” alright. “Just hear me out.” Fuck “just,” because it’s “just” overkill. (Like that Colin Hay reference? I did too.)

3. “So . . . “: So, why don’t I find another segway into sentences?

4. “Oh, you know . . . “: Nope, he or she does not know, Mel. Use other fucking words to explain it.

5. Pretty: “Pretty much,” “pretty sweet,” pretty annoying how I have such a limited vocab.

6. Sweet deal: It was just yesterday when I realized I wasn’t a male surfer.

7. “Yes, . . . “: No. That’s a no. No one agrees.

. . . And the list can go on and on and on.

I also realized that my skills at describing images and meticulous characteristics is spot-on, but I lack in forming the overall picture. The overall plot. The overall resolution. That my friends is a no-no. What’s the point of writing when there’s no end result? No burned frays at the end-tip? Ugh.

To fix all of this, I’ll try to write more fiction, more poems this year. I’ll read more books, articles, anything that helps me flex my literacy. And I’ll be sure to share it all with you in this here blog.

Can you feel that? That excitement quaking?