Monthly Archives: May 2012

Music, Ruminations

5 Thoughtless Things I’d Buy With My Invisible Millions

I daydream about 15-20% of my day. Mostly during my morning commute, which I understand is uber-dangerous, but other than work stuff, world hunger, impending sin, and how I wish I had “I Hear A Symphony” by The Supremes on my iPod, there isn’t really anything else to think about other than things I wish I could do, places I’d love to travel to, and things I’d like to buy.

This post will be about the latter. And only a handful (I call things I list in fives a “handful”) of the bajillion things I’d do with a million buckaroos (or maybe just $500):

1. USB Typewriter. How effing cool is this? Of course, this would mean I would need an iPad to go with it. Totally besides the point, though.

2. Unofficial Arrested Development pint glasses. How could I not need this?

3. A Battlestar Galactica Ring. Even though I don’t wear rings at all. I’d wear it around my neck, or something. So say we all!

4. Harry Potter flask. My last flask was taken away from me. It was only worth $10>, but still, parting was such sweet sorrow, especially when you’re being escorted/kicked out of a shady bar in downtown L.A. that you didn’t even want to go into in the first place. A Polyjuice Potion flask would make my dreams come true.

5. Concert tickets. I just signed up for Songkick to track all the shows I want to go to, and it’s just made me tear up because I feel so, so poor.

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Los Angeles, Ruminations

A short but sweet letter to whoever lives in Rm. 201

Writing a note at 12:21 a.m. to someone who will never read it isn’t really my style. (Unless it’s during an impromptu therapy session and the letter is to myself five years from now. But until that time comes . . .)

My irked level is off the charts right now, thanks to the lovely neighbors above me.

So I’ll make an exception.

Dear person who lives in Rm 201,

Merry Christmas, you son of a gun. Oh, is it not Christmas Eve? Then why the hell are you watching Love Actually right now, at 12:23 a.m., on a Thursday night in May? And don’t deny it. I can hear Billy Mack singing about his magical fingers and toes through the thin ceiling. I can also hear the sadness in Sam’s voice, as he contemplates unrequited love for the first time. I have the same amount of saturated sadness housed within myself, since I’m just now realizing that I’ve seen that movie enough times to pinpoint the exact scene you’re watching.

You’re pushing me to reevaluate my life choices. And I haven’t got the energy, time, or patience to dive into deep thought right now.

Although, this is a step up from you blasting “Sweet Child o’ Mine” and Boston at one in the morning. Have you beaten your best score in Guitar Hero yet? You’ll hit Expert in no time, you bloody bastard.

Or maybe I can borrow your lovely clogs. Your moves must be fire, what with you Gregory Haines-ing it up all the time. Yeah, I just verbified Gregory Haines. And yeah, I did just make up the word “verbify.”

Oh sweet, now it’s the lake scene with Colin Firth. Did it ever bother you that the chick he was pining over had a super-duper tramp stamp? Or that they used music from The Sims for this moment and called it sound design? Because that has always annoyed me, and I should not be wasting thoughts on this right now. Not ever, really.

I truly hope that one day you’re stuck in an elevator with the person who lives in the apartment to the left of me. And that he or she traps you with bad Linkin Park covers and Simple Plan late-night karaoke.

Only then will you be welcomed to my personal Hell.

With lots of crazy swearing and middle fingers,

Mel from Rm. 101

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Los Angeles

The Renaissance Pleasure Faire

To the Renaissance Pleasure Faire we go!

I was going to title this “Mel dives into LARPing for the first time,” but that’s not in the least bit true. All I did to prep for the Renaissance fair was braid my hair into a semi-decent Dutch crown.

But, HUZZAH! I had the pleasure (pun-intended) to go to the Renaissance Pleasure Faire in Irwindale on Saturday with the roomies. As a virgin-Renaissance-fair goer, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. But I really did have some good ole’ medieval fun.

Actually, since it was me and one of my roommate’s first time at a Renaissance fair, a random festival goer (in character) took us aside and pronounced our welcoming to the crowd of people. He then asked if we were together, which my roommate answered with a “Yes,” and I answered with a “What?!” That awkwardness was trumped by distraction though, since there were so many shops filled to the brim with knick-knacks I don’t need, but very much wanted.

$16 garland. I doubt medieval people ever paid for their garlands. Pfff. But pretty, regardless!

Just to give you a picture of all the things I fancied, but completely lacked necessity, I’ll list a few: a glass potion bottle (thought it would make for a great flask), a leather-bound journal, a pewter chalice, and a wooden sword. Who the hell doesn’t need a wooden sword though? Truly.

The roommates and I dined ye olde-fashioned, with beers—I had Harp, Hoegaarden, and a “Bloody Buddy” chocolate and raspberry porter mixture—and a turkey leg. I consumed more calories than I had this past week—most definitely. But it was well, well worth it.

The definition of classy.

Here’s a summary of events that took place while at the fair:

1. We paid $2 to get lost in a maze. And lost, we were.

2. We waited to watch a joust, but instead ended up watching this bird man that introduced us to owls and vultures. I was on my last drink at that point, and mixed up my bag-o-sweet nuts with my beer. Rookie mistake.

3. Irwindale had a beautiful backdrop of a lake and misty mountains. We took a good break while taking in the nature. It was almost as if we traveled outside of Los Angeles (which we technically did, but still). Fresh air at last. Kind of.

4. My roommate, Ben, had a random “battle” with a woman. He was decked out in war gear and everything. Not really sure who won, but he looked good!

5. This:

It was like a skeevy group shower. Oh look, a little girl in a tub.

And this:

Not sure what’s going on, but I rolled with it.

. . . Does this make me cooler, or what*

Oh yeah, and I really wanted this wooden armory. For the love of all things bad ass:

Beauties.

*Debatable.

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